Bittersweet Cell phone symphony

Okay,

I have read about a million articles reprimanding us about how rude it is to use a cell phone in public. Notably, I believe we all understand it can be dangerous to use a cell phone while driving.

First of all, I am no defender of cell phones. I personally hate cell phones. They are convenient, but costly in terms of our privacy. I remember my life being a lot simpler when I had an answering machine and a 1.99 beeper from Smartbeep. That meant that if someone wanted to reach me, they had to wait. Now because we have cell phones, people think that they have a right to reach you, and actually have the unmitigated gall to be offended if you don't answer. How many times have you been having an important conversation with family, a private moment with a significant other, or just enjoying yourself and have your cell phone being "blown up" by somebody who wanted something that could've waited another hour? Usually those geniuses are motivated by their lack of motivation "I just wanted to see what you were doing." Well, homie, I am actually trying to have a life. What are YOU doing?

But they are here, so here is my rebuttal to the cell phone etiquette folks.

1. First of all, it is NOT rude to answer the cell phone in a public place. Cell phones mean that our family members, our jobs, and others may need access to us. And due to our increased reliance on cell phones, and the insistence upon people that we answer right away, it is RUDE not to answer. Not answering in some lines of work and in some relationships could cost you big time.

2. It IS rude to talk loudly on a cell phone in earshot of people who are being quieter.

3. It is NOT rude to talk on your cell phone in a restaurant, or while having a meal if you are dining alone. As long as you don't talk on the phone while the waiter is trying to serve you-- it is fine, and as long as you again are not talking loudly and disturbing other people. Some people will vehemently disagree with this, and I will unilaterally shut down their dissent with this comment. First of all, if the lone diner were sitting with a friend at lunch or dinner chopping it up, would you have an issue with the conversation? Probably not. Stop hating because they have someone who wants to talk to them. I have heard louder more inappropriate conversations that are rude from groups of diners, than I have from a lone person having a cell phone conversation over dinner.

3. It IS rude to talk to someone on your cell when you are having dinner with a group of people.

4. It is NOT rude to leave a meeting, movie, to take an important cell phone call if a) it is an emergency, or b.) you are not the presenter at the meeting. c.) it is not a call from a second suiter, while you are on a date. Please leave the room if you must do this.

5. It IS rude to keep your phone on during a meeting and have it go off, and then start talking.

6. You should never answer a cell phone call that is not an emergency at church.

7. It is not rude to talk with someone on your cell phone on public transportation, as long as you keep it short, and keep it low.

8.) It is rude to tell the world all your business on the bus.

9.) Despite all the drawbacks of cell phones, wouldn't you rather use a cell phone than talk on a e coli ridden payphone, drive around looking for directions, miss an important call from your family or your doctor, pull over to a payphone to tell someone you are running late, or miss a call from your boss? Just keep it civil.

You have permission to speak freely.