Missed connection man to woman 2000

Hard heels
She peels
It grates
But it's an earful

He poises
White noise is
Hardcore but cheerful

Missed connection
Before the web expression
saw you at the Cinnabon
Checking your complexion

It was brown skinned
Reminiscent --old hollywood
wrote a letter to the editor
asked to find u
And he "pro'lly would"

Ten syllables
Diligent and elliptical
Brown skin twin
Magically mystical

Before he could chase you with the fever
You had faded into the ether
On the 68 bus you waved
In the back seater

Every now then he peeps ya
in the corner of his eye
thinkin'
that he seen ya

Been about ten
how time flies
But when he hits your street
He still drives by

A Rejected Mentor

I looked to you for wisdom
you fed me sour wine
and old bread
You felt it was for my good
For an older woman to train
A young woman
Of such little consequence
Imprudence; well she was woman too
With all her charms
And not a mother
To wayward black girls
Seen as trophies for the guilt
Of the unspoken conquests.
One of course, I could not replace
And my curious faith
Naive and unlearned
Devoid of curiosity
And too firm
Made me the stuff of
Mammies and matriarchs

But even mammy knew
How to pray when
Her own obstinate will
Was defiled

But still, I looked to you.

And if you find this; I wish you well.

Superman

Is it hard being super man
What do you do when you're not
Flying through my mind?
Faster than a speeding
Not now
Breaking into my security system
In the name of romanticism
And heroics
Is it some kind of misfortune
That a formerly reformed
Love addict be blessed with
A real genuine artifact
When I've conditioned myself
To believe in your non existence
Leaving a bit of sunshine
Under my pillow
From a star crossed mind
Traveling...
How is it that I want to drink
You in your thoughts
Wavey and wordless
Pictorials of all the things
I've reminded myself
Are not utilitarian for
Modern love
A fairy tale
Wagging the dog
In real life glass slippers
Are more likely to be crack pipes
Than Stilettos
Hello there
How did you get here?
In the milky white breath of
My left
Ear
Telling me
Lovely lingering listless
Hopes
I'm listening

Free Fall

Who do I blame for
Widening pupils
hungry wooden bowls
Filled
With
Unspoken
I love you's
Unassuming
Hopefulness
Feathering of warm thoughts
Plumes of impatience
That condense and float
Suspended by only
Baited breath
I go, you go.
Our small mustard seed
Planted in a holy place
Not a cathedral
But earthy
grace

I shouldn't like you
The way I do
Listening to the cling
Of words
I say


Shhh you reply
Hear it

Feel it
Taste it

The moment before
You

Just
Fall
Free

Bare

If I had my way
I would strip you bare
Watch you come unwrapped
Yet remain fully dressed

I would kiss
Those bruises beneath Your
breath
Your charm, and carefree
Smile
Anger and doubt

Your disappointments
All the times you tried and tried
On dreams that didn't suit you
Don't you understand that
they never made you,
your mind created
Them to shield yourself from yourself
But can the dreamer ever be less than the dream?

I want to love you
Without your armor
Ice your black eyed
Pride
With the coldest kind of kindness
Producing shivers and shakes


I would speak to all silent places
And let the silent places
Sing to me
Tell them the songs
You're afraid to write
So your body writes them for me

So deeply haunting
and achingly beautiful
It hurts to look at you
Hurts more when I'm not touching you
Breathing in the same brainwaves
Deep beautiful lucid waves
Of possibility

Don't speak
Let me look at you
The man behind the velvet curtain
That you think is too broken
To love
Have faith that sometimes
With a a willing heart
Trumps a capable hand

There is a balm in Gilead
knitting one soul to the next
Each breath giving the other
Liquid bone to heal the fractures
And fissures
Of life
Until they become guilded gold
So that neither lacks a thing

Be bare before me
Don't speak
Let your silence
Tell my eyes everything
That my heart has always known

Healing the Great Divide

Years ago, I told my English teacher that I didn't really feel as if I were a real American. I felt as if America was an unfinished promise that had yet to live up to its potential.

She said," Someday you'll change. Travel. You'll see how lucky we are. Look me up in 20 years."

My teacher and I couldn't have been more different. She was a moderate Republican. An older white woman who supported George Bush (Jr.), who believed that African-Americans should rely on the value of hard work and opportunity to succeed. She saw herself as fully American, endowed with inalienable rights of statehood.

I was a young independent, who had not really found any encouragement with any candidate watching as my generation fall to gang violence, war, poverty, apathy and self revile. I too, believe that Blacks, as with all people should rely on the value of hard work, however I knew that reliance would come from faith in the face of tremendous opposition despite opportunity. I also knew everyone doesn't survive that journey.

My teacher and I disagreed on many things, and we didn't part ways amicably for many reasons. But today, after seeing the impossible delivered via the hand of God to America through none other than the hard work, perseverance and prayers of not just my people, but the American people, life has forever changed for me.

I thought about this woman, my former teacher. And this comes to mind: Americans are the most privledged people on the planet, and yet, our union can be perfected.

I wonder what she thought as she watched the scene in Chicago, Biden's grandchildren, Malia and Sasha rejoicing in a city that only forty years before was set ablaze in the wake of King's death. I wonder what she thought of the tears on rainbow faces of the many who had faught for so long that they believed their dream wet with sweat had melted in their hands. I wonder what she thought-- to see people of all races unite on the banks of Virginia, the birthplace to conjoined twins; American slavery, and our modern democracy. And not only that-- to know that forty years to the date of King's death, God has parted the Red Sea again for the prayers of all those who didn't live to see it.

I wonder as she stood there, would she feel as much an American as I, and despite our differences, would we acknowledge our common dream?

If I were to see my teacher today, I would explain what I lacked to words to tell back then: Nobody is more of an American than those for whom the dream was denied, and yet still dreamed.

Transcript: Barack Obama's victory speech
Thursday, 6 November 2008
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President-elect Barack Obama spoke to the world from his home city of Chicago as he became the first black president of the United States. Here is the full text of his victory speech:
"Hello, Chicago.
"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.
"It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.
"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled, Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.
"We are, and always will be, the United States of America.
"It's the answer that led those who've been told for so long by so many to be cynical and fearful and doubtful about what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.
"It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment, change has come to America.
"A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain.
"Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader.
"I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor (Sarah) Palin for all that they've achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.
"I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart, and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on the train home to Delaware, the vice president-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.
"And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady Michelle Obama.
"Sasha and Malia I love you both more than you can imagine. And you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the new White House.
"And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother's watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight. I know that my debt to them is beyond measure.
"To my sister Maya, my sister Alma, all my other brothers and sisters, thank you so much for all the support that you've given me. I am grateful to them.
"And to my campaign manager, David Plouffe, the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the best - the best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America.
"To my chief strategist David Axelrod who's been a partner with me every step of the way. To the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics, you made this happen and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.
"But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to. It belongs to you. It belongs to you.
"I was never the likeliest candidate for this office.
"We didn't start with much money or many endorsements.
"Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.
"It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give 5 and 10 and 20 to the cause.
"It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy, who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.
"It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organised and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.
"This is your victory.
"And I know you didn't do this just to win an election. And I know you didn't do it for me.
"You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century.
"Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.
"There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after the children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage or pay their doctors' bills or save enough for their child's college education.
"There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair.
"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.
"I promise you, we as a people will get there.
"There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.
"But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.
"What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.
"This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.
"It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.
"So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.
"Let us remember that, if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers.
"In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.
"Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.
"Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.
"As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too.
"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces, to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of the world, our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand.
"To those - to those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.
"That's the true genius of America: that America can change. Our union can be perfected. What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.
"This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight's about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing: Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.
"She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the colour of her skin.
"And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.
"At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.
"When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs, a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.
"When the bombs fell on our harbour and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.
"She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that 'We Shall Overcome'. Yes we can.
"A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination.
"And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.
"Yes we can.
"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?
"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment.
"This is our time, to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.
"Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America."

The Dancing Elephants: Palin Strikes Again

Did you watch the vice presidential debate? In the interest in not recapitulating the most non sequitur display of non-answers imaginable, I suggest you watch the real debate on you tube, or at http://www.cnn.com/ and then catch the SNL Tina Fey parody.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/10/tina_fey_as_sarah_palin_nails.html

Today, after her stunning victory of a mediocre performance at the debates, Palin launched another attack at the Obama camp. It was clear from the debate that Palin does not support negotiations with "terrorist states" without preconditions.

If, she had followed that line of reason, I would be inclined to say she had a real debatable question in her hot little hands.

But instead of taking the high road, she lays it in the gutter, casting doubt on his patriotism, instead of debating the issues. The fundamental statement the McCain-Palin ticket seem to be making is "He's not one of us." Why else would you attack Obama's patriotism and his Americanness, when there are plenty of real issues they could address such as the value of meeting with enemy nations without preconditions?

Nothing new, right? Republicans made the very same assertions were made against Michelle Obama when she said she was "really proud of her country" for the first time at a rally.

This time it has to do with the Senator's relationship to alleged terrorist sympathizer Bill Ayers.
Bill Ayers, was a founding member of the radical Weather Underground, which was involved in several bombings in the early 1970s, including attacks on the Pentagon and the Capitol.

Obama and Ayers, now a university professor, have met several times since 1995, when both worked with a non-profit group trying to raise funds for a school improvement project and a charitable foundation.

We see America as the greatest force for good in this world," Palin said at a fund-raising event in Colorado, adding, "Our opponent though, is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect that he's palling around with terrorists who would target their own country."


Obama sees America as imperfect, so he'd be willing to sacrifice it? Obama denounced Ayers actions. There is no formal relationship between the two. What exactly is the point of this line of debate? If it is to call Obama's character in question, Palin is going to have to do a whole lot more than prove that they served on the same board together, and once he held a house party for him ten years ago.

Why attack Obama on his patriotism, when it would be so much more salient to question him on foreign policy? It tinges on the the verge of something far nastier, something no one who supports senator Obama can even acknowledge for fear of alienating white voters, but is there, just as the blatant sexism in this race to the white house.

Now with all those white elephants dancing, doesn't it make for a darn good circus?

Shh. Let's not disturb them.

Fingerprints of Love/ Persecution

If you are a DNA evidence technician you have to ask yourself what are the fingerprints of love? Is it a healed heart? A kind word? An honest, yet gentle answer?

And to love, does that make you weak, as some have implied when they said, "Jesus is strong, not weak."

By having to make that statement, it seems as if we have somehow missed the point of love, compassion, and strength.

Is a man weaker because he exercises restraint against a man he know he can injure in order to demonstrate compassion, or is he stronger because he obliterates his enemy in the name of justice?

The bible doesn't seem to give a definitive answer, but one scripture speaks to me, " I desire mercy and not sacrifice."

Mercy is the foundation of God's love.

Yet as a friend pointed out to me, love is one of the most abused words ever given breath. People beat people in the name of love. Kill in the name of love. Belittle in the name of love. Use the words when the heart is so far from it.

After all the ultimate form of love is God's grace, which can be defined as unmerited favor that looks beyond the fault and sees the need.

So when we love, we are required to demonstrate the same love to others as God demonstrated to us through grace. This is no easy thing.

There are some people in this world who will hate you because you love them. Today, I discovered that.

The more you love them, the worse they respond. They hate you worse for loving them than they would've hated you if you'd hated them. It is almost as if people expect hate. Hate has become synonymous with human nature.

It isn't really because they hate you. It is because they hate themselves.

And because they hate themselves they will only, naturally, hate you. Sometimes I wonder if people are so twisted inside and feel so unworthy of love if they will not hate the person who loves them.

I find it ironic that the bible said that God is love. Jesus was killed not because he attempted to usurp the world in a violent coup, but because he told the world that God loved them enough to forgive them. Jesus said that if people loved the father, they would love him.

But people hated Jesus. They hated him because he challenged their beliefs. They hated that he had power to heal the sick. They hated him because he wasn't rich. They hated him because they wanted to be him. They hated him because he hung with low class people. They hated his ideas.

And as the scripture says, "They hated me without cause."

In the last 12 hours of Jesus' life many people wondered what was the truth about this man, labeled a blasphemer, a rebel, and a monster. And what is truth? That is the question Pilate, a purely political bureaucrat ultimately asks.

Even Pilate said "I find no fault in this man."

Yet, the son of God himself hung on a cross bearing the sins of all humanity, and the abject object of the world's hatred out of pure love.

John 15:18-19 "if the world hates you, know that it hated me before it hated you..."

2000 years later People still mistake kindness for weakness. They will do everything in their power to tear you down in the name of God and goodness to justify the fact that they don't want to lose their power. They will mock you. They will treat you wrong. They will hurt you in the name of love.

It is hard to love people who don't want love. They want power. They want influence. They want what you have. But offer them love, and you earn their spite.

The saddest part of this is, the thing that will heal that ugly hole that seems to suck life out of everything they encounter is only filled by the thing they seek to destroy.

God's antidote for hate is more love. He commands us, not suggests to us that loving our enemies is the only way that we can show that we are His children. It is our spiritual fingerprint.

Why? If love in a hate filled world is so aching why on earth would a just God demand that we continue to give it in the face of the most awful consequences?

Maybe, just maybe there is something about love, that overcomes hate not in the reaction of the hater, but the action of the person of the lover. That's why people who believe in justice have problems with grace, and love. Love appears unjust, on a universal level because it is something that none of us earned from God, yet because it is the ultimate victor over hate, and the inner being of God himself, it is more just than justice.

There is no victory in hate. Ultimately hate dies. But love remains eternal.

From Hero to Zero -- Yet Another Reason I will Never Vote Clinton Again

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2008/09/bill-clinton-hi.html

I was once fascinated by Bill Clinton. His ability to move a crowd. His knack for making a compromise look like a win-win. His determination in the face of adversity. His ability to run as a moderate, and stand firm in it. His enigmatic charisma that seemed to either enamor or repel anyone he met.

In fact, until last year he was on my top ten list of individuals I'd like to meet and grab a cup of coffee with -- living or dead.

And then I got a taste of the real Bill Clinton. So far, the aftertaste is still sour. Today Russell Goldman reported the bitter truth:

"President Clinton told The View that had Obama chosen his wife instead of Delaware Sen. Joe Biden it would have been "the best politically," and that his wife would have likely taken the job though she didn't want it."

It's a very personal decision who should be vice president. I like Sen. Biden a lot. I think he was a good choice. [Hillary Clinton] would have been the best politically at least in the short run because of her enormous support in the country," he said.

Then came the CNN headlines on Sarah Palin," "People look at her, and they say, 'All those kids. Something that happens in everybody's family I'm glad she loves her daughter and she's not ashamed of her. Glad that girl's going around with her boyfriend. Glad they're going to get married,'" he (Clinton) said.

Which, I found nothing wrong with, except the article ends with him saying once again that Hillary would've been the best choice.

Is that the kind of "friend" that Obama or the dems need in this hot button political season? Someone who goes on television and basically says I like your VP choice, but no cigar? And then goes on to say, "But even though you were short sighted for not lobbying harder for Hillary to be your VP, she really didn't want it anyway."

For less astute voters this may seem like a benign statement. after all Clinton prased Obama in the same article he's quoted here. However, those of us in the know can see exactly what Clinton is doing. They are distancing themselves from Obama so if he fails, they are well positioned to reclaim the mantle of Washington leadership. Why else would you publicaly discredit the choice of Biden after claiming to support the ticket?

Now mind you, this is nothing against Hillary Clinton. I have my issues with her, but her husband's behavior far outweighs anything Senator Clinton has ever done.

In a close election as this one, I have seen first hand the Clinton hubris that the Republicans warned us of all those years ago. I chided myself for being so blinded in my own support for democratic ideals that I didn't see that Bill Clinton really does have a character issue-- but it isn't loyalty--- it is arrogance.

First he sabotaged his own wife's presidential ambition with his desire to be in the spotlight making amped up racially tinged political observations when quite frankly Bill, nobody asked you. Then he and Mrs. Clinton launch insidious arguments, in the name of sexism that the only reason Obama got the nomination was because he was a man. (And although the elephant is still in the room, ladies and gentleman Obama is a Black man.) Obama was painted a an inexperienced lofty young man who arrogantly decided to run against Hillary, a confident woman --who is also for the record, a junior senator.

That set the stage for Sarah Palin even being on the planet in this election year universe. Why else would John McCain or the republicans even think of picking someone who wasn't even on the short list, and obviously, had not been properly vetted?

Finally, in true Clintonion arrogance, Bill blames it all on somebody else. It is Obama's fault. Notice how carefully he chose his words. Hillary would have been "the best politically". He avoids saying she would have been the best period, because that would be bold, even for him. But the sneaky part of this is he is questioning Obama's political judgement by saying "politically". What does the average reader get from this. Obama made a bad political choice, and even if he tried to make the good choice, Hillary would be doing "him" a favor.


All this belies the real point: Bill Clinton started this war within the party on his own like a willful child robbed of his candy. The truth is nobody lost this election for Hillary but Bill Clinton. If he had been able to keep his personal life in order, the question of Clinton fatigue very may well have been settled in 2004. If at a time when most African-American voters hadn't made their mind up about Obama Clinton had layed off the rhetoric, Hillary would've rolled Obama under a bus back to Chicago.

With all that hot blame being served up, I would be remiss not to point out the true culprits: it was us. Us who claim to support democratic ideas but supported a man who believed he was above reproach. Bill Clinton is the same person he was in 1992, 2002, and 2008. Incredibly competitive to the point of negligence. Incredibly nasty when he doesn't get his way. And downright condescending.

The most scathing piece of today's news was I mean come on-- so the VP was beneath Hillary, however for the good of the country she would prove she was a team player? Even if that were true, why would you say something like that in public weeks before an election that impacts not only the people of this country but the world?

It is the single most selfish thing I have ever seen him do, and there are a lot of moments to replay prime time in that category.

Well, why ask why if you're Bill Clinton. Who but Bill Clinton in his wonderful way could be a democratic party leader and publicly support a republican without "supporting it?"After all these years of fighting the vast right wing conspiracy I am uncomfortable with how easily he's become part of the club.

At the risk of having any more unfortunate pig references made, this all feels very Orwellian. As George Orwell's Animal Farm demonstrates, we often become the thing we fight. "The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. "

As an under 30 voter, I must admit, it does make me sad. I miss the era of Clinton magic. But I cannot walk away from what he has done. When I cannot tell the tactics of the Clintons from their rivals, and that gives me pause when voting for their policies.

So Bill, if you're reading, I'm sorry we will never have that cup of coffee, but I'm sure you understand. I walk away a little more jaded, but a lot stronger.

EDITORIAL: Black America: Promised Land Lost?

I wrote this a few years ago. Interesting, isn't it?


Tough love isn’t a bad thing. Tough without the love isn’t too good.

Bill Cosby’s recent speech at Charles Drew Elementary School in Bayview Hunter’s Point could easily be summed up as, “Promised Land Lost.”

Perhaps less poetic than Milton, Cosby came under fire for his harsh analysis of poor Blacks in a controversial speech marking Brown vs. the Board of Education decision last May.

The San Francisco Chronicle printed Cosby’s recent comments blasting negligent Black parents who mourn troubled youngsters. “Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know he had a pistol?,” Cosby asked, “And where is the father? You can’t keep saying that God will find a way. God is tired of you.”

There is a nugget of truth in Cosby’s argument. The future of Black America doesn’t rest in the hands of public institutions. Racism exists, yet we as a people cannot allow racism to prevent us from being who God created us to be. Unjust standard, but what’s the alternative?

Here’s another truth: Most Black people aren’t on drugs, derelict, destitute, in jail, or swiftly heading there---and those people resent the idea that victimization is second nature to Blacks. Cosby’s remarks struck gold with blue collars and buppies within the community resentful of an “underclass” that hasn’t arrived at the foot of the mountain, let alone the top; it also and endeared him to conservatives happier than hallelujah to cosign.

However well intentioned Cosby’s desire for parental responsibility, his indignant response can be likened to Moses in the Old Testament striking water from a rock and telling the unfaithful Israelites, “Hear now, you rebels; shall we bring forth water for you out of this rock?” This was the ultimate insult to God because Moses didn’t believe in the divine transformation. And he paid a hefty price—Moses, the man who spent the majority of his life devoted to God’s work was denied entrance to the promised land because didn’t acknowledge that it was bigger than himself.

A good friend taught me that responsibility means that what we do makes a difference. If accountability applies only to the poor, we’ve created a difference without distinction.
The sense of a common struggle is eroding among some in the Black middle class. We cannot drive our SUV’s to corporate jobs and go to our and step over the homeless on our way to our mega churches without remembering, “To whom much is given, much is required.” It defies the legacy of our grandparents who shared all they had, even when that was little.

Progressives may disagree with their politics, but haven’t conservatives (and Black nationalists) argued for years that the Black community needs people willing to do more than write a check? Cosby is among a privileged few with the ability to command diverse unilateral and national attention. The question begs to be asked--Wouldn’t it be powerful if we used our resources to transform our families instead of shaming them?

Waiting on the World to Change

Published in the Berkeley Daily Planet

Reader Commentaries:
Waiting on the World to Change
By Michelle Milam

Thursday August 28, 2008

I am thinking in moments. I was born nearly 10 years after the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. and nearly 16 years after the assassination of John F. Kennedy. My baby sister is five years my junior, my best friend and “sister” is five years my senior. My young cousin was born in the 1990s, and my goddaughter was born in 2000. Many of the children I work with are two generations removed from the civil upheaval of the 1960s. I find it ironic that Barack Obama was born eight weeks after the world received that fateful news that shots struck the presidential motorcade in Dallas.

We are the face of the next generation of Americans who have been given the keys to an elusive and magical kingdom. What we do with it will determine the future not only for this country, but the world.

I am struck by the irony of a changing season and a constant hope. Via the Internet, I watched Sen. Kennedy graciously and proudly pass the torch at the DNC the other night. Nearly 40 years before me, on a black and white television, my mother watched as many of the great and influential change makers of her generation were gunned down. Young men of my father’s generation lived an unsure existence never knowing if they’d be drafted into war. Today many of our young men and women are not only fighting an enemy on a foreign soil, we are fighting a domestic enemy—one who looks like us, holding a handgun and ready to take aim.

My grandparents, only two generations from slavery, lived under Jim Crow. After coming to work in the shipyards of Richmond, they finally bought a home in El Cerrito after being told by a couple down the street, “Nobody will sell to a black family.” Today, many of our generation have moved home, since despite our education, in the face of foreclosure, a sour economy and high housing markets, the keys to the kingdom are under glass.

Is eight years of conservative rule enough?

Barack Obama seems to teeter precariously on a thin line between familiarity and risk, baiting the national conscious, hoping that Americas will vote it.

I agree with McCain and Clinton supporters; this election is not about political experience, something that would matter more in a typical business as usual election year. McCain and the Clinton-Bush dynasty have more than enough experience to roll Obama under a bus back to Chicago. But what do all those moments of experience mean if this moment demands something decidedly different?

What values does this generation believe in?

There is really only one question that needs to be answered, and that question is not whether Barack Obama is ready to lead.

Is America ready to change?

Be careful, if you breathe, you may miss the moment.

Michelle Milam is a Richmond resident.

Gratitude

What does it truly mean to be thankful?


Birds. Phone calls. Jobs. Thread. Tact. Driving. Prayer. Mothers. Destiny.

We take many things for granted each day. In many cases, we feel like we have a provisional license to complain as soon as the sun peaks over the clouds each morning. Drat! Another day!

I think, today, about all the things that pissed me off. Annoyed me. Didn't go my way. Didn't happen like they were 'sposed to. Was I waiting for the universe to stop, pause and give awe to me?

And yet many of us are. Unwittingly waiting for the universe to acknowledge us. Mad and waiting.

What would a day be like if we didn't ask God for anything and thanked Him for all he did. What if we were grateful for our mistakes, which keep us human. What if we appreciated the ice cream cone even after it dropped, the flat tire, the girlfriend that gets on our last nerve. What if we listened to the caustic language of crickets in the night, trilling for all the world to notice.


Would the universe pause in awe?

To accept the things I cannot change

A friend of mine encouraged me to challenge myself to journal for the next forty days on my spiritual journey with God. It is a challenge I accept, with some hesitation.

Even if it is just one line a day, she said hopefully, It could be something that you could use to see where you started and where you ended in your journey. I loved her optimism, and her carefully framed suggestion that perhaps my inner sanctuary needs a good spring cleaning. It is the kind of nudge that only a sister could give you in love without offense.

This is coming at the heels of a powerful 40 days of prayer and fasting that changed my life, hers and many people around me. Now I feel I have walked right into a period of preparation. Walking into that season is kind of like walking into the middle of a party in which everyine is grooving, you know, having a good old time until you walk in there looking undressed for the celebration.

It is much easier for me to write poetry, fiction, even distantly removed essays than to write about my real life. I suppose in some ways that is why I've only kept one diary in my life. It is painful for me to write honestly about my real life.

So at the start of this challenge, which already finds me well over a week into my 40 day spiritual journey of fasting and praying, I'm going to try this out and see where my gutsiness and personal waterfall of self take me.

Today, I am tired. Not spiritually tired, but physically and mentally tired. I got up this morning to sing at eight and eleven o'clock service. The topic? Love. The greatest spiritual gift of all is not preaching or teaching or discernment or faith or the gift to move others with our gifts...it is love. Anything we do without love means nothing. Love is more important than what we say, what we believe, what we know, or what we do.

Years ago I asked God to teach me to love, and I thought that he did by putting difficult people in my life. I've been around a lot of people who don't know how to love well. I went through the obvioud reactions, Why me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with them? Well this is the way it is, and finally I accept that this is a lesson even if I don't know what the subject is.

My favorite scripture was Corinthians-- the love chapter. In the past few years I put it away in favor of another favorite scripture "Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of this not seen..." but the bible clearly states that love is greater than faith, greater than hope.

So why have I run away from loving, and letting people love me?

I don't know. But I do know that the call to answer is one I accept.

Defending Dreamgirls

Smokey puts film under fire

By Chris Lee, Times Staff Writer

UNLIKE so many cineplex offerings these days, the big-screen adaptation of "Dreamgirls" does not open with the tagline "inspired by a true story" — even if the movie and the smash Broadway musical that preceded it have done little to conceal their real-life inspiration: Motown Records supremo Berry Gordy and his management of Diana Ross and the Supremes in the '60s and '70s.

As the film has made its inexorable march through award season toward the Oscars, doing increasingly big business at the box office along the way, neither Gordy nor Ross have offered their opinions. But "Dreamgirls," which leads the field with eight Academy Award nominations, has roiled another Motown legend: Smokey Robinson.

" 'Dreamgirls' is an affront to Berry, to Motown, to Diana Ross, to our legacy," Robinson says. "It defames something we've been building for 50 years. And for a group of people who weren't there and don't know what went on at the time to come along and distort Motown — for people all over the world who don't know the true story — that's not acceptable to me."

The soul crooner voices anger at the filmmakers but also particular disappointment with "Dreamgirls" stars Eddie Murphy, Beyoncé Knowles and Jamie Foxx — performers he feels have lost sight of their African American cultural heritage.

"For them to depict as this shyster who was underhanded from the very first moment, paying people off, manipulating everybody and he's hooked up with the Mafia and doctoring the books at his house — that's unacceptable," Robinson explains in uncharacteristically heated tones.

Specifically addressing Robinson's displeasure with "Dreamgirls," the film's distributor, DreamWorks/Paramount, issued this statement:

"On behalf of the filmmakers, we would like to remind Mr. Robinson that 'Dreamgirls' is a work of fiction based on a Broadway play. We also take exception to Mr. Robinson's unwarranted attack on the cast of 'Dreamgirls,' who are all at the zenith of their careers."

The studio's piquant rejoinder notwithstanding, Robinson remains resolute that amends are in order. "Let them tell me why they depicted us in such a negative light," he says. "Berry Gordy broke down racial barriers and brought people together through music. He and Diana Ross deserve an apology."

Mimi's Moment




Well,

I would dispute that. The film is far kinder to the "Deena" character than the movie.


Alright-- I know. Who can dispute with Smokey Robinson? In all fairness, I think he missed the point. I took away from the film the pressure that black labels faced when trying to market their coveted "sound" in a world that wanted a different face. I think that made the characters a little more interesting. I understood why Curtis was Curtis. I didn't agree with it, but I understood.

I wish the film had allowed him to be a little gentler with Effie, and see more of the love. I think we would have had a more rounded character. Nobody should like Curtis at the end of the film, but they should respect the fact that he was just trying to play the game because he was forced to. That would make the final moment of the film, and the tragedy (selling your own soul) all the more heartbreaking.

I also know in a world sort of Black heroes we don't like to talk about their humanity, real or imagined, because it becomes an unfair liability.

It wasn't all about knocking the Berry Gordyish character for me. I don't need to see perfect suburban Love Jones blackness Big Chill Style 24-7. You know the type of movie that we all were excited about 10 years ago post Blaxploitation and Boyz in the Hood. Black characters that were only seen as positive if they were super wealthy, super smart, super educated, super moral for a film to super positively represent the Black experience. I think that super human characters are not any more positive than the awful depictions because they lack the ability to represent the depth and humanity of the Black experience. Yet I understand Why we have them. Because anything that is a "weakness" in us is unfairly magnified.


I actually have outgrown the need for positive to equal perfect in black characters. Who wants to see that? I do, however, need to see some growth. I need to see some complexity. I need to see a film that doesn't take the easy way out or make the characters caricatures.

How I write

I'm not really a traditionally visual person, I suppose. I don't "think" in words most of the time either. I think I am more of a "feeling person". I credit this to all my writing teachers who said "Show, don't tell." Of course, this rule is subjective. There are times when it is better to tell, but most poetry is about showing.

If you say the word "sand", for instance:

I will feel
the grains of the sand,
the wetness or the dryness of it,
the way it moves, the way it tastes,
the way it touches other things,
the way it sticks,
the impression it leaves
the way the color of it makes me feel
the way the shape of it makes me feel
the way the word is "colored" --does it have double meanings or connotations? What do others associate with this word?
how does the word sound? If it was a musical note, what note would it be? Flat? Sharp? The harmony? The base? What is the music of the poem?
any analogy between the word and other things...

I'll have a flash of the image in my mind, and I may see something very vividly, but I don't attempt to be describe object in my mind, I attempt to describe the way that I feel about that object. I don't do it deliberately, really. It just is the way I think. The words and the images just start pulling from my mind, like they are coming from some otherworldly place, and they are ready for me to arrange.

Why I hate 80's retro

Okay, I love the 80's--- for sentimental reasons. Although I was born at the tale end of the 70's, it was in the 80's and 90's that I came of age.

So I remember Jellie shoes, Jellie braclets, scruchies, geometric cuts, dookie braids, pastels after labor day, Punky Brewster, twin sets, Lisa Bonet Hair, Flashdance, Micheal Jackson BBSO (before boys slept over), acid wash jeans, gold chains, doorknocker earrings, leg warmers, New Edition, LA Gear high tops, Run DMC, leggings and minis, puff sleeves, ect...

And while I cherish the memories (thanks!) I do not want to see them returning like real life musicals for my veiwing displeasure!

Find new and refreshing ways to relive your childhood, people...like writing some good screenplays about the 80's. I would pay for that. The fashion, I will not.

Didn't God say in the Bible somewhere "Behold, I will do a NEW thing?"

Instead of revisiting each decade, which seems to be the formula of late, why not try something, new? Ahem... It may be a novel concept, but it beats looking like you stepped out of the original Nintendo version of Street Fighter.

Bittersweet Cell phone symphony

Okay,

I have read about a million articles reprimanding us about how rude it is to use a cell phone in public. Notably, I believe we all understand it can be dangerous to use a cell phone while driving.

First of all, I am no defender of cell phones. I personally hate cell phones. They are convenient, but costly in terms of our privacy. I remember my life being a lot simpler when I had an answering machine and a 1.99 beeper from Smartbeep. That meant that if someone wanted to reach me, they had to wait. Now because we have cell phones, people think that they have a right to reach you, and actually have the unmitigated gall to be offended if you don't answer. How many times have you been having an important conversation with family, a private moment with a significant other, or just enjoying yourself and have your cell phone being "blown up" by somebody who wanted something that could've waited another hour? Usually those geniuses are motivated by their lack of motivation "I just wanted to see what you were doing." Well, homie, I am actually trying to have a life. What are YOU doing?

But they are here, so here is my rebuttal to the cell phone etiquette folks.

1. First of all, it is NOT rude to answer the cell phone in a public place. Cell phones mean that our family members, our jobs, and others may need access to us. And due to our increased reliance on cell phones, and the insistence upon people that we answer right away, it is RUDE not to answer. Not answering in some lines of work and in some relationships could cost you big time.

2. It IS rude to talk loudly on a cell phone in earshot of people who are being quieter.

3. It is NOT rude to talk on your cell phone in a restaurant, or while having a meal if you are dining alone. As long as you don't talk on the phone while the waiter is trying to serve you-- it is fine, and as long as you again are not talking loudly and disturbing other people. Some people will vehemently disagree with this, and I will unilaterally shut down their dissent with this comment. First of all, if the lone diner were sitting with a friend at lunch or dinner chopping it up, would you have an issue with the conversation? Probably not. Stop hating because they have someone who wants to talk to them. I have heard louder more inappropriate conversations that are rude from groups of diners, than I have from a lone person having a cell phone conversation over dinner.

3. It IS rude to talk to someone on your cell when you are having dinner with a group of people.

4. It is NOT rude to leave a meeting, movie, to take an important cell phone call if a) it is an emergency, or b.) you are not the presenter at the meeting. c.) it is not a call from a second suiter, while you are on a date. Please leave the room if you must do this.

5. It IS rude to keep your phone on during a meeting and have it go off, and then start talking.

6. You should never answer a cell phone call that is not an emergency at church.

7. It is not rude to talk with someone on your cell phone on public transportation, as long as you keep it short, and keep it low.

8.) It is rude to tell the world all your business on the bus.

9.) Despite all the drawbacks of cell phones, wouldn't you rather use a cell phone than talk on a e coli ridden payphone, drive around looking for directions, miss an important call from your family or your doctor, pull over to a payphone to tell someone you are running late, or miss a call from your boss? Just keep it civil.

You have permission to speak freely.

Who would you be if you weren't afraid?

Who would you be, if you weren't afraid?

The Bible says,"Ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

I asked myself this question five years ago, and it changed who I was. It was, not to sound cliche, a defining moment.

At the time I was afraid of many things. I was afraid to love because I had been hurt. Afraid of rejection, so I only tried things I did well. Afraid of life beacuse it was so unpredictable. Afraid of disappointing God, and even more terrified of trusting Him.

Around that time I stopped courting my spirituality, and made a committment to Christ. I was moved by Matthew.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened ... If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" (Matthew 7:7-11)

Like many Christians, I prayed to God, without believing that He would answer (or give me the answer I wanted to hear). Self defeating? No doubt. It is no secret that many of us don't pray and trust in God for our happiness, joy, our future. We don't know (or trust) who God is and we fear being disappointed.

I prayed. I even prayed with expectation, but often times I prayed for things I could get for myself. Faith was not tested. Wanting brought disappointment, so I limited my wants to things I believed I could have.

Ever watch the Never Ending Story? The lead character Sebastian, is introduced to an imaginary world turned real that is dying because children refuse to believe in it. At the end of the story, the world crumbles and all that is left is a grain of sand. In order to restore the world, Sebastian has to exercise his faith and begin to wish for things.

Faith is a lot like that. It costs. And that cost is our hope. In fact, the bible says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. An oxymoron, really. Faith having substance. The substance of faith is hope, and it is the evidence of things that are present, but unseen. A tough concept for people to grasp, because the flesh (the human) part of us deals with sensory things.

Yet we still believe in the wind.

After I began reading this scripture, I realized that there was something missing from my life. I knew God had a purpose for me, but I wasn't seeking God to lead me into that purpose because I didn't trust him. The close relationship with God wasn't as tight as I projected.

I knew I wanted more for my life. Not just material things, but I wanted to be the person God made me to be. I wanted to step out of fear into faith, but I had no courage. Then I read, and begin to get encouragement from the word to ask for freedom from my fears.

"Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures." (James 4:2)

According to some of the different Bible dictionaries, the word "amiss" means we are asking for something "wrongly" or "mistakenly."

Soon after I began asking, and knocking and seeking my life changed. It changed in a physical way. I moved into a rent free house, I got a car without a note, I found meaningful work after college and step into new roles, I was able to help my grandmother through her last days, I was able to make new friends, and let a man love me.

Spiritually, I was learning to trust God, lean on the word, and share the God news. The biggest thing I learned in that early time was to have hope for my life based on God --not my own will.

However, like Job, faith is tested.

After I reached that peak of self reflection, I experienced some real blows. My grandmother died. I bought a house, and struggle with carrying a note alone. I became jaded and disappointed with my community work because the problems were so much bigger than me. I struggled with what seemed to be an endless series of challenges. I experienced health problems related to anxiety. Sickness visited my family. Things I worked for years to build up crumbled in a matter of moments. I lost love, or realized maybe I had prayed for the wrong thing.

That was the blow. I could deal with everything else, but the thing I wanted most in life was to feel loved and protected. I prayed that God would put his hand on my decisions with men and dating. I opened up and truly trusted and gave of myself, stepping out on faith despite those fears, believing that God would not steer me wrong, and it failed.

It was the most crushing thing I have ever experienced. Even worse than the break up of my parents. Even worse than witnessing domestic violence as a child. I think at some point because of the things I've seen in my life, I stopped wishing, and hoping. Oh, I hoped in theory. But I stopped believing to protect myself from being disappointed yet again. It hurt most because I trusted. And maybe I felt betrayed by people who I loved, by the people who I served, by my own inadequacies, --and by God.

The true test of your faith is when you question if God has failed you, or you have failed God. In fact, that is when many people walk away from God, when their prayer is not answered. Isn't that what Job was all about? The devil said the only reason that Job loves God is because God gives him stuff. Keeps His hand on Job. It can also be crushing to think that you have failed God when you believed with all your heart you did His will.

It is dishonest to tell people seeking God that being saved is an instant solution to their problems. In fact, much like the Matrix, salvation is the red pill. Remember as Neo reaches for the red pill Morpheus warns Neo "Remember, all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more." Salvation of course, is more than truth, it is the way and the light. It has a reward at the end. Increasingly complicating realities however are in store, and God does not promise that we will not have struggle.

It was a dark time for me. And I'm not alone. You have them too. The times you don't understand but the ache seems unbearable. You are confused and hurt. You pray, and feel that God isn't listening. You panic. You have no peace. It is at those hard times, when pressed by the enemy without and within, that we can only stand on the word:

Hebrews reminds us that it is impossible for God to lie:

"That by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we may have a strong encouragement, who have fled for refuge to take hold of the hope set before us."

That there is a path to God:I am the way, the truth, and the light: no man cometh unto the Father, but through me. John 14:6

In Hebrews 13:5, we are reminded of a promise that God made, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

Question: Do you quit, or do you trust?

The disciples asked themselves this in Luke.(Luke 7:18-21) - "And the disciples of John reported to him about all these things. 19And summoning two of his disciples, John sent them to the Lord, saying, "Are You the Expected One, or do we look for someone else?" Either you believe that there is another way, or you believe that you need to learn the way.

I now think that I have been blessed most in the valley. I truly know that God is with me. I know now you can ask for something "amiss" or "mistakenly" and God knows. He spares you by removing it, but he doesn't ever forget the slightest ask. Sometimes God answers prayers and the answer is "No." With good reason.

Remember, God told Jesus no. He didn't take the cup from Jesus. Jesus was tempted, and forsaken by his friends. After doing the will of his father, he faced death for the world and unbearable pain. Yet he knew that the souls of all humanity rested on his obedience. Still he prayed to God to spare his life,"saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."

But God's will is greater than our will. Jesus acknowledged this by stressing that if it is God's will, take the cup. Sometimes, no matter how hard you have to drink the cup, and go through the fire. But take comfort in knowing God is with you, working it out for the good, even if the situation is bad. That is where your peace will be.

Now I know that God doesn't owe me anything. I am HIS servant, not the other way around. Immaturity (and the enemy)leads us to think that God would leave us. He promises in his word that he will never leave us, or forsake us. It is in the valley that your soul is shaped into the character of Christ.

I struggle with fear. Faith. Doubt. But I am learning who God is. and I am learning that he wants me to be that woman he intended. And I still believe that God can do infinately more than we can ever ask or hope for. That He gives good things to his children. That He can see the path when we cannot.

And that we can be at peace.

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don't let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful. John 14:27

Fighting Temptation

Ever been tempted? Come on, y'all let's be real. Have you ever been tempted to do something you know is outside God's will?

Not one of us is above temptation.

Even Jesus. He went into the wilderness, (although he knew the Lord was with him) and the devil tempted him physically, tempted his desires, and his ego. Think about it. Here is Jesus, the son of God, sent to wander in the wilderness, and go without food, being prepared to die for the sins of people who were not good. Do you think he did not have doubts? We serve a Jesus who knows what it is like to be a man. How else could he have compassion on us?

And yet, he resisted temptation by staying in the word, and on God, and recognizing the devil's plots. Imagine what would have been lost if Jesus had failed, and given into temptation. Salvation would have been lost not only for the world, but for him.

We never know what we could have been had we not yeilded.

We are tempted by the enemy because he wants us to take our focus off our destiny in Christ. Temptation is anything we put before God and his will. We can even be tempted by something God wants us to have by trying to get it in the wrong way or in our own time. (Done that before. Lost someone dear by doing that!)

The sad truth of temptation is the devil has a funny way of making dirt look like diamonds, and diamonds look like dirt. Why? Because if we focus on our temptation, of the eyes, of the flesh, of pride, we become reliant on ourselves, and not God. We desire the things of the devil, and not the things of God.

Important to know here that everybody is tempted, so we cannot hide from it. We can only learn to recognize it and draw on God, because he does not allow us to be tempted beyond our capabilities.

Woke up this morning to a scripture, and a word from the Lord: How do you deal with tempation?

The word was: Jesus was tempted on all points.

Ever had a word delivered to you that was a CONFIRMING word and you just had pick your jaw up off the floor, pull your dress up, and say you got caught hanging out there? Yeah, that hard word, that is hard for you to hear, but you needed to hear? Well I got mine today.

You know, I've been struggling with my purpose for awhile now, and I realize now why I'm struggling, and it is pride.

Last week, we were studying in Sunday school about Paul's thorn. Then in bible study we revisit Paul in the book of Acts, where he is traveling to the early church dealing with the divisions.

As I am being prepared for my destiny, It has become clear that my weaknesses have been tested. The word I got today was clearly convicting: we all are tempted, and none is above temptation. Relying on ourselves we cannot resist temptation. Matter of fact, this is prideful. We can only resist in the Lord.

I think in my quest for perfection, I needed to hear that. Forgot that. I had to repent on that. Because it is not me, by myself that does anything, but me in the Lord. I thought I knew that.

But you never know who you really know until you are tested.

I realize that the thing I hate most in my current occupation, pride and ego, is what I hate most in myself, and I am no better than them or it-- we all suffer as humans from pride.

That isn't a pretty thing. We don't like to admit our flaws, but to effectively minister, to keep our eyes on God's will, and to accept God's grace and mercy, we must admit it.

Experiencing a roadblock? What is tempting you right now? How are you responding?

Are you responding in the word, relying on God, or in your own ability?

I learned long ago, that sometimes God will protect you when you are a fool, but once you get stronger in the word, he will let you go through something so that you can learn the lesson.

I am a poet, so I know the power of words, and try to use kind gentle words to soothe pain and hurt. But sometimes a hard word is needed. It may save your life.

I got that today.

Don't stay in your shame, and think you are doomed, because the good news is that you need a savior, and you have one, ready to forgive and redirect. You will be stronger for your struggle. But you have to repent and come to him. We all struggle. We are human. Everyone, even the most spiritually strong of us is weak in God's eyes, because we deal with sin.

Allow yourself to repent, and let God deal with you as a son.

Sometimes a hard word is a loving word, meant to keep you from stumbling.

Movie Monday w/Mimi: Step Up

Let me preface this by saying I want to lay my biases on the table. I am Black woman who and a self described equal opportunity entertainment viewer. I pride myself on not a movie snob: I didn’t turn my nose up at Madea as chitlin’ circuit theater, and I was willing to give Save the Last Dance, and opportunity to save itself, and I still think Booty Call was funny as hell even if Jamie Foxx doesn’t claim it no more. I even watched Christie, despite Hallmark mellow drama.

I believe people go to the movies to be entertained, and I enjoy smart entertainment, like a perfect bahama mama. I draw the line at sloppy drunkenness.

Step Up, however, is irrefutably on the low end of subpar summer flicks. It starts off with a pitchy feel: Its male lead, Tyler (Channing Tatum), is eye candy. An updated Patrick Swayze seething masculinity in Rocawear, Tyler is truly a dancer, and evidentially the lone white boy in chocolate city. A poor foster kid from the wrong side of the Baltimore streets, Tyler spends his days passing time stealing cars with his boy Mac (Damaine Radcliff) and – his impressionable brother Skinny (De’Shawn Washington), his nights dancing and getting into fights.

One night after some youthful mischief Tyler and his buddies break the window to the exclusive Maryland School of The Arts and proceed to destroy – perhaps a way of sticking it to the rich kids in effigy. Nobly, Tyler sacrifices his own freedom for his friends and takes the entire rap for the caper. Tyler’s rebellious streak lands him in front of the court, which sentences him to 200 hours of community service at the school.

There the indifferent Tyler is reminded that his carelessness has caused the school enough to loose some student their scholarship. While doing janitorial work, Tyler soon gets a chance to show his moves to Nora (Jenna Dewan), a struggling ballet student looking for a way to prove to the nation’s top dancing scouts and her disapproving mom that she is conservatory material.

Much like “The Little Mermaid” Tyler longs to be a part of Nora’s world and a permanent replacement for Nora’s boyfriend. Conveniently, Nora’s dance partner has an accident, she dumps her boyfriend, and the rest of the weakling sophomores are unable to provide Nora with what she needs-- a strong virile dance partner that can really, umm, lift her. Now, if only her ruffneck could stop being so unruly!

From here it is a predictable cross between west side story, the traditional dance flick, and after school special, with a few explicatives, guns and a murder sprinkled in for effect. Channing is best when he is in motion, because at least then he isn’t assaulting us with monosyllables and blank stares. The rest of the film is a tug-o-war between Tyler’s aimlessness and Nora’s ambivalence.

The ridiculous subplot between Nora’s chums, Miles (Mario) and Lucy (Drew Sidora) the cheery songstress and the shy deejay, serves to fill the awkward scenes until the dancing begins again.


Although I took aim with Save The Last Dance, for it’s Pollyanna attempt to deal with race, Step Up doesn’t even begin to step up when it comes to risk or complication the surface outside of a subterfuge joke made early in the film. The issue of class and race that are brimming at the surface waiting to be painted are glossed over bevy of diverse MSA students, nobly struggling to keep their scholarships, --although I was never convinced that Tyler truly understood. We know very little about what drives (or doesn’t) Tyler, and the film doesn’t give us a reason to care.

What is left are wasted moments to tell the same old song in a fresh new way.

And of course, my bias is lunged out of my seat when they show the hardworking yet neglectful black mother of Tyler’s friends leaving two juvenile delinquents in charge of watching a younger brother while she works the night shift as a maid. Many mothers I know would have brought the kids with her to work. That would have been a plot twist!

Many of its fans applaud Step Up for the dancing. I’ll admit it gets saucy at some points, but I’ve seen better dancers in my hometown. If dance movies are only about dancing and not about the plot, please spare the attention challenged overscheduled masses of the population, and make a video instead. Until then, stay home, save your nine dollars and catch “Dancing With the Stars”.